9 Effective Self Care Tips to Help You Not Take Things So Personally

Self Care Tips- Have you ever been in a situation where the opinion or comment from someone about you got you bothered? It happens to everyone at some point.

It may be a comment from someone you look up to, or love dearly, like your spouse, a friend or someone whom you think should shower you with praises.

According to the popular saying “you are responsible for your own actions and cannot be held accountable for the actions of others”.

There is no way you will exist without people commenting about you, you will get positive comments and you will get negative comments, you must understand that you have little control over the comments you make.

The truth is, no matter how hard you try to prove yourself, some individuals will still be critical of you. So, if you react to everything people say about you, you will probably end each day giving yourself an unnecessary headache.

Sometimes you may be seeing something which isn’t there, I mean you may be attaching too much meaning to an event or a comment that the other part may not pay attention to. 

In this article, we shall consider some essential self-care tips which will help you greatly not to take things too personally. The tips are a fundamental psychological and mental reaction to the comments and actions of other people. 

In this article, we highlight nine best self-care tips that will help you not to take things to heart. With these tips, you will be able to live a life that is free from stress.



1. Question Your Beliefs

The first on the list of self-care tips is questioning your belief. This is more like a chain reaction. Beliefs are what affect your interpretation of an event or occurrence. This, in turn, determines how much you are affected by the actions or utterances of the other party.

In some places, they believe that when a senior citizen gets on a bus, a younger passenger on the sit must vacate his seat for this elderly individual.

Now, suppose the older adult has traveled to a city where such a belief is not upheld. He gets on the bus couldn’t find an empty seat and finds a young boy sitting. He stares at the boy for a long time thinking the boy should stand up at once.

The boy doesn’t know of the culture and has a wound on his foot, but the older man doesn’t know this. Eventually, he couldn’t handle his anger; he takes it the wrong way and thinks of the boy as rude to remain seated while he is standing.

It is a beautiful culture to stand up for elders and let them have their seat on a bus. However, it is not cast in stone, and it is not every culture that recognizes this moral act. The older man took things this way because he failed to have a rethink on his belief.

The funny thing is when you get yourself bothered about an event based on a belief you have, if the other person doesn’t share your idea, you are giving yourself an unnecessary headache.

2. Seek Clarification

Never jump to conclusions! You should never act on something you are not sure about.

Imagine getting pissed at a person because you hear them say “your car is an old model of a brand of a vehicle”, perhaps the topic was about specific features that your car poses which has been taken of the new model or they may be talking about your maintenance culture.

The truth is, you do not know the topic of the conversation, and you should probably get clarifications before you jump into a conclusion or before you take it personally.

If you act on an event that you didn’t have a clear understanding about, you will probably end up feeling sorry.


3. It Isn’t All About You

Not all the criticisms or harsh comments you get is about you. Sometimes it is all about the other person rather than you. Some people are terrible at controlling their tempers; some people will always transfer aggression to anyone around them at a time they aren’t feeling great.

This is a common thing at offices, where the boss comes in for the day, and you turn out to be the sacrificial lamb. You cannot do anything right that day; it is almost as if you are the most terrible worker that day.

It may not be entirely up to you; in fact, it may have nothing to do with you. The boss or the other party may be going through some emotional or psychological trauma at home or the workplace, and he doesn’t seem to know how to channel his anger and frustrations.


4. Learn To Classify The Criticisms Leveled At You

You must understand that not all criticisms are objective. Some criticism may be objective, but it may come out too harsh and probably sound subjective.

Identifying the type of criticism, the ones that could help you improve yourself and the ones that are expected to demoralize you.

Instead of getting stuck with the memories of the harsh words spoken to you or about you, it is better to vet the comments and pick out the points which you think may be right about you, and work on yourself.

Some individuals are very blunt and do not know how to address the issue. However, they will always tell the truth. You must not make the mistake of overreacting to their words as the majority of it could be true.

5. Consider Who The Criticism Is Coming From

It is imperative to consider the person who is uttering the words. Is it from that coworker, who is a constant bully at work? Is it from someone you think a friend? Or from a lover? Or from a total stranger?

You may want to treat criticisms and actions of someone who doesn’t know you too well, with a pinch of salt. People who do not know you more likely would be judging you too soon, and you shouldn’t take it personally.

Criticisms from someone who is a bully are mostly derogatory and are often not entirely true. Their actions and words are out to hurt you, and when you take it personally, you are giving them what they want.

However, criticisms from a close person are often true and objective and should be taken more seriously because they know you better. And they probably would have been watching you for a while, so you should take notice of their criticism and try to improve on it.


6. Know That It Is Not Worth Your Energy

We often worry too much about other people’s perceptions of us, when in fact it is not always worth it. You must understand that you cannot please everyone, no matter how hard you try.

Concerning yourself with the thought of people will only lead to an unnecessary headache. You should know that it is not worth your energy and you should focus on yourself rather than their views.


7. Be Too Busy To Care

Do not spend too much time dwelling on something that someone said that hurts you. By doing this, you are wasting precious time in which you could invest in getting something else done.

When you want to start feeling wrong about an event that happened with someone gets busy. Invest your time in something you love doing; it will ease your mind off it. The more you think about an unpleasant event, the more personal you will take it.


8. Stop Perfectionism

Stop trying to be perfect; when you make a mistake, and someone points it out don’t be too harsh on yourself. Nobody is perfect; we all make mistakes and get corrected; the most important thing is that we learn from our mistakes.


9. Improve Your Self-esteem

This is perhaps the most important on our list of self-care tips. A person with low self-esteem will be easily affected by other people’s actions and comments.

Low self-esteem means that you will seek for people validation and approval desperately to feel good. Hence any negative comment against you will be taken very personally.

I used to be taunted about my stature when I was much younger. This was because compared to my mates, I was skinny and short. I struggled for respect and validation, and I was easily affected by the taunts and banters of my friends.

However, I later learned that people would view you the way you see yourself. I worked on my self-confidence and self-acceptance; I embraced by stature and height and even looked at the positive sides to it.

Generally, I improved my self-esteem, and many of my mates saw this change in me. While some of them stopped the taunts, others never did but noticed that it was water off the camel’s back for me.

I didn’t care about whatever they said; the most important thing to me is how I felt about myself. If your self-esteem is high, what people say won’t matter because you do not need their validation.



Taking things personally only affects you; it doesn’t change the other party. Someone says something about you, and you go thinking and drooling over it for hours.

Meanwhile, the person who uttered the statement is getting on fine with his work. He may not even remember what he said to you.

We often pay too much attention to others, and that is why we take things too personally.

The self-care tips above will improve your lifestyle and reactions to actions and statements. You will find out that if you begin to take things less personally, you will have a clear mind and a clear head even more than before.

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